Find Your Soul Mate, Homer.

Maybe, single people eat crackers - we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know.

"I'm looking for something in an after-dinner burrito."

"You'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel."

Baboons to the left of me. Baboons to the right.

Baboons to the left of me. Baboons to the right. The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of the great apes rose up at me but -- bam, bam! -- I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me --HCCAAH, HCCAAH!! ...And that's when I got mad.

Okay, everybody tuck your pants into your socks.

Saxamaphone

Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.

Happy Wacking Day!

"But first, a look at the local holiday that was called distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies, Whacking Day! In a tradition that dates back to founding father Jebediah Springfield, every May 10th local residents gathered to drive snakes into the center of town and whack them to snake heaven."

Mmm... free goo.

Hi! I'M BIG BUTT SKINNER

Stratawhovious?

Want me to zinc your sniffer?

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!

Lousy Smarch weather.

So You Want A Rock War Eh?

First thing tomorrow morning I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head.

R.I.P Ernest Borgnine

I'm sure you kids knew him best as Sergeant Fatso Judson in "From Here to Eternity"

http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Ernest_Borgnine_(character)

I Call the Big One Bitey

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marge_vs._the_Monorail

The 10 Greatest Simpsons Quotes

10. "I call the big one bitey" - Homer J. Simpson (Marge vs. the Monorail)

9. "Me fail English? That’s unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum (Lisa on Ice)

8. "Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”" - Lionel Hutz (Marge in Chains)

7. " Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog. " - Homer J. Simpson (The Canine Mutiny)

6. "Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?" - Milhouse (The Canine Mutiny)

5. "Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” - Smithers (A Star is Burns)

4. "Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs." - Homer J. Simpson (Behind the Laughter)

3. "You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way." - Homer J. Simpson (The PTA Disbands)

2. "It's ok, kids, you tried your best and you failed. The lesson is: never try." - Homer J. Simpson (Burns' Heir)

1. "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems." - Homer J. Simpson (Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment)